Daughter...

Alone...listless...breakfast table in an otherwise empty room
Young girl...violins...center of her own attention
The mother reads aloud child tries to understand it
Tries to make her proud

The shades go down it's in her head
Painted room...can't deny there's something wrong...

Don't call me daughter not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

She holds the hand that holds her down
She will...rise above

Don't call me daughter, not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to be
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

The shades go down
The shades go, go, go...

P/S: I just can't wait to watch Pearl Jam tonight!

PP/SS: Don't worry I'm not depressed or anything - it's just a brilliant song - prob my fav from the band =)

Football fever!

The football fever has indeed set in - the overall performance has been mostly unexpected but genuinely entertaining! Some traditionally strong teams were rattled in the group stages (Spain, Germany), losing to the underdogs - some even failing to get through (read: France). Now as we're nearing the end of the group stages, the 2 teams that I support (admittedly one grudgingly - Spain - and the other willingly - Portugal) are still far from safe. All will be decided on Friday so maybe I'll learn the positive or negative outcome while watching Pearl Jam in Hyde Park! I obviously have little faith in the England team and really detest how their supporters seem to have unrealistic views on the abilities of their players (I mean, have they seen how Kaka or Messi plays??). Don't get me wrong, most of these players play for top-flight clubs in the premier league - but somehow the skills displayed don't show any sense of fluidity or even style. Perhaps I shouldn't expect every team to play like Brazil or Portugal - the beautiful passes, the triangle formation...even Spain (in my view) can't compare!

Oh well, enough ranting. I'm glad Germany scrapped through tonight - don't ask me why I'm supporting them in the first place! Hopefully this world cup will introduce a new winner into the hall of fame (only 6 previously: Argentina, Brazil, England, Germany, Italy, Uruguay).

*Listening to End of me by Apocalyptica feat. Gavin Rossdale*

It's not healthy...

..to watch the same band twice in a week. But I HAVE to accentuate that Bon Jovi, without a doubt, is one of the BEST (i.e, my favourite) bands ever! OK, bar the fact that their past 4 albums have been utter rubbish (note: this means anything after These Days except for It's My Life), the gems that they play during their gigs are a joy to listen to. My only regret is not being to watch them perform during their prime - I guess this is something I can't help :o( Anyway I've been obsessing over their old songs for the past few days and I think this will go on for days....until my next gig comes along! (next week: Stone Temple Pilots).

Bon Jovi forever! =D

*Listening to Blood on Blood by Bon Jovi*

Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out!

My nightmare is finally over. Phew. And I have my life back. It's been a long 3 months leading up to yesterday and yet, I think I will have to taste some bitterness when I find out my results in 2 months time. Anyway, at least it's done and dusted and life starts again!

It sure does feel as though I have this massive backlog of things that I want to do and can finally start doing again! I need to start playing my guitar (which I haven't touched for the past 2 weeks), read this pile of new fantasy books lying on my bookshelf that I've been refraining from touching, meeting up with too many friends that I've neglected for months, holiday plans, ..and the list goes on. The only part of my life that has been unchanged is my search for new music (ok it's quite limited to rock in any case) - it's probably one of the few things in my life that can actually keep me motivated and happy. Strange, but true - good music can leave a big smile plastered on my face - not something human beings can emulate most of the time! LOL!

In terms of personal motivations, I think a change has been long overdue and I will try my best at getting to those now that exams are behind me. To be a better person, to reach some personal goals and most importantly, to be a better daughter to my parents. Somehow being away from home all these years seems to have created a vault between us - it has probably made me too independent and easily irritable. I should probably try to put myself in their shoes to understand why they are how they are :o). I never quite understood this - but I think it's probably down to me being envious of my brother who has always been the apple in my parent's eyes (Note: don't get me wrong, I'm not even going to argue about why this is the case! LOL!) and always having to prove to them that I'm not a failure as how I think they perceive me to be. Obviously, this is just a one-sided assessment and I have absolutely no clue if it rings true or otherwise - but on the other hand, it might be safer not to know - as one would say, what you don't know, doesn't hurt. In ANY case, that should not deter me from trying - so yes, I will try from now on to be a better daughter. Enough said. :o)

Moving on from emo-stuffs, June will be one of those epic months in my life where I'll be overdosing on concerts starting with Rage Against the Machine tonight, followed by 2 Bon Jovi concerts next week, then Stone Temple Pilots and rounding off with Pearl Jam at the end of June! Awesome, isn't it?

*Listening to Killing in the Name by RATM*

So much for the afterglow...

So it's the end of my hols and it's been really awesome (with the exception of a minor glitch at the end) - but in any case I had a wonderful time exploring Angkor Wat with my buddy from high school - and later had a really fun time playing/partying in Hong Kong. I also managed to catch up with quite a few friends, family and brother/sis in law as well! It feels a bit surreal trying to recall what I've done in the past 2.5 weeks - too much fun, too little time sums it all pretty much. In any case I think I'm most at fault for not spending enough time with my family this time around...pretty selfish of me, but I've promised myself to be better next time =)

Life shouldn't be full of regrets, should it? I did something really unpredictable (by my standards!) last night. I don't regret it and yet I'm not sure what really urged me as well. In the past few years I've written of my fear of taking risks and how terrified I am of failure. Yes I failed but as wrenching/pathetic as I was, I can now look forward to a new start...not easy, but I'm pretty sure it's not undoable. Just takes a bit of courage, time and support (of friends that I'm eternally grateful to have - you know who you are!).

Alrighto it's nearly time for me to bugger off to the airport so I should hope this post will last for the many months to come! =)

*Listening to Walk On by U2*

the art of being lazy...

...that sounds like me - i haven't blogged for more than a year! to be honest, not much has changed (for me personally) but like everyone else, i've had my share of ups and downs. since i usually update my FB status, my friends DO know what i'm up to =) strangely whenever i blog, it's because there's something nagging me - so there is something right now but hey ho, not for anyone's ears except mine! :P anyway, since it's so close to xmas hols, i don't really have that much things to worry about for the time being...except LDN -> KL-> cambodia -> KL -> HK -> KL -> LDN - yippee!

2009 was a year filled with more concerts than ever, excellent travel adventures (must go back to south america!) plus lots of fun nights hanging out with friends....so for my new year resolution for 2010, i vow to...(in no particular order)

1) bake a cake

2) learn to play the guitar properly - yes, i need to make it a regimented routine otherwise i'd never get around playing the diary of jane in my lifetime!

3) more travelling! (south america again for sure!)

4) go for my concerts! (duh!) and to watch our lady peace/breaking benjamin/three days grace in concert even if it requires me to fly to US!

5) marry jared leto (ok, maybe not)

sounds ambitious? yeah, i think so too - it'd be great to just do all those things above. and i made a separate promise to myself to be more honest, listen to others and talk less.... =)

doubt i'll write in the next year or so (knowing my personality as highlighted in the title of my entry today) so hopefully there'll be something worth writing about in 2011!

*Listening to Because I want you by Placebo*

some things never change?

I think it was more than a year ago (maybe two?) when I was in this state of emotion => mixed, confusion, excitement... and then reality bit. Yup, before I knew it, it was all over - just one moment and now I'm back to square one. This feeling is indeed so-very familiar to me and I'm sure many people have gone through this as well. I guess I have to learn to wish not and want not. Although I think I've conditioned myself well enough to expect nothing so that I won't be left feeling empty - reality still hits you right where it hurts and at the end, I'm left with this unexplainably challenging situation..... Argh, but such is life - as one always says - so I guess all I can do is cheer up and look forward to the next best thing that's happening in my life? Now, that's a tough call - I think I'm better off counting down the days to Nickelback's concert.....one more week :D

*Listening to The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows by Brand New*

random thoughts....

Sometimes I wish I were more risk-adverse - however, I ultimately know that I am the type of person who would never take uncalculated risks in life. Is that a good or a bad trait? There's always this part of my brain that unconsciously tells me to make the most practical and sensible decision i.e. never make a decision where P(success)<50%. I guess this is my way of avoiding facing a potentially bad outcome. It's actually pretty sad if you think about it....I guess I'd never truly find out since I wouldn't take that leap of faith, would I? On the other hand, because I've already calculated that the P(success) is pretty much lower than 50%, then it's really not worth going through the potential pain/sadness/dissappointment/embarasssment/etc from one *risky* decision, right? I guess I'll never find out....

OK I think I'm growing way too old and senile now rambling about nothingness :o)

*Listening to The '59 Sound by Gaslight Anthem*

the end is the beginning is the end?

My two week break in KL is finally coming to an end - however, since I'll be back in about 2 months time, I'm not quite feeling the *missing* pangs this time around. I do sometimes wonder whether I'm missing out on things that are happening back home...on the other hand, perhaps I'm not quite ready to give up on my rock concerts just yet :P (not forgetting the limitless freedom living in London! ;o))
I do realise that things have changed in Malaysia over the past few years - with the slowdown of the global economy, the price of living necessities become incessantly more expensive. I guess my friends working here are quite lucky to be amongst the proportion of working adults that earn very decent wages and thus are not quite as affected by the increasing prices of goods in Malaysia. It is also quite interesting to observe how ones priority in life shifts with age - it used to be studies and getting decent grades - now it's work work work. I wonder what the next stage of life would be?
Ok time to go get my final dose of char siu from Overseas restaurant... :o)

*Listening to Build God, then we'll talk by Panic at the Disco*

Panic mania....

Yesterday's concert was totally AWESOME!!!! Panic at the disco were amazing on stage: great singing & showmanship and the lead singer, Brendon Urie, is toooooo damn cuteeeeeeee ^_^ (damn I sound like a paedophile - yes, he is only 21 - sighhhh....). Unfortunately, there really wasn't much of a crowd as the turn out was REALLY poor....not befitting for such a great band :o(. On the up side, less people meant more space to jump about and less squashing involved - which is GREAT!

OK I'll stop drooling now.....I'll write more soon....I hope ;o)

*Listening to Nine in the afternoon by DOH?!?!*

One year later.....

Has it been a year since I last wrote anything on this page? I guess it must have been. Gosh - time sure does fly - especially when you're busy either working, sleeping or going for rock concerts (which has been my main passion in the past year or so :o) )
Since I'm not trying to summarise the past year, I'll just briefly update my current state of mind. It's GREAT to be FREE from any form of burden or responsibility....at least for a while. Although waiting for my passport is getting on my nerves. Grrrrrr....... on the bright side, London has been amazingly nice and sunny :D ...which could be a good or bad thing....for me anyway. The equations below usually apply:

Good weather = Going out = Shopping = Spending lots of $$$
while BAD weather = Stay at home and sleep

Hmm it's already 715pm and none of my housemates are back yet! O_O Weird. Looks like it's going to be a quiet night for me. I can't wait for the Dark Knight to be shown in the cinema! It really annoys me how movies get shown sooo much later in UK than everywhere else in the world - don't they realise that this encourages more piracy? But then again, everything in UK is usually slow and behind time. I think I've lived here long enough to accept this as a fact of life....oh well.

Time to plan on what to do tomorrow...

*Listening to Itsumo by Feeder*

Back to blogging...after 7 months (!)

Ok I know I should have been better at blogging but the past 7 months flew by with so much happening (more like work+work+work -__-). Life's been great, though. To sum it up I've spent possibly about a month in Egypt since my previous entry and about 1.5 months in Istanbul working. In between I've managed to make an unforgetable trip to New York (Ref: nicocism.blogspot.com for pictures and story :P) and numerous concerts. Amazing how eventful this year has been so far! Oops, actually am due for dimsum lunch in half an hour so I better get my b** moving. Will blog more in near future (or so I hope)

A taste of one of my (many!) obsession's in the recent months as the below..

Listening to We danced together by The Rakes

Back in London...

Finally back in London after 3 eventful weeks in KL. So many unfortunate incidents occured and thankfully things are looking better now :-) Went to see the ophthalmologist yesterday (which btw costed me a big big BOMB) but was told my cornea ulcer is completely healed.
Yippee!! I guess I'll stick to spectacles for the time being.....until I'm brave enough to wear contacts again. Sob sob. Sigh, I HATEEEEEEEEE wearing spectacles. But shit happens. Oh well...
Other than being bogged up with work for the past week or so, I've been reading Death Note! It's such a fantastic manga (up to chapter 58, after which it becomes a LOT less interesting because ... I won't spoil it for those of you who have not read it yet muahahahaha *evil laugh*). I was reading them religiously for the past week and reached the finale chapter (108 FYI) on Tuesday. The ending was a bit...ermm...dissappointing though. Although one would easily predict the ending, the execution of the ending made the main character (i.e. Yagami Light = oh-so-evil-but-ultra-smart-and-cool guy) quite...ermm...lame. (Yeah, I was rooting for him right from the beginning :P) However, the manga is still worth a read and this explains my temporary Death Note withdrawal syndrome up until today. Am waiting for episode 13 of the anime to be subbed in English and actively searching for another manga to read. Anyone with any good suggestions?

In the mean time, I'll be needing some distractions (which will definitely come handy in the near future)....for the next few months ;-)

*Listening to Broken Hearted by Eighteen Visions*

Foggy Blue Mountains and then some..

Yippee, I finally made it back to Sydney on Tuesday! :D On the flight here, I have to admit that I was more than a little worried that the Australian immigration officers would chase me back to KL for attempting to spread an infectious eye disease as an act of terrorism or something to that effect -_-". My eye has gone better....not clear vision yet, but according to my doctor bro (and of course, the opthalmologist back in KL :P), it should take a few days for the ulcer to recover. So in the mean time, I have to make do with looking like this => o_O, and trying my best not to bump into something on the road.
Back about Sydney, I came to Sydney previously back in 3rd year of uni. Nothing much has changed, really. It's just as exciting and interesting as I've remembered the city to be. I probably enjoy it more now since I have a *local* guide (yeah, that's my bro and his gf, Kim), who can bring us around when they aren't working. One thing I really love about Sydney is the view of the Royal Opera House and Sydney Harbour Bridge. It's a bewitching sight...ahhh....
We went to Blue Mountains yesterday (about 1.5 hours from Sydney - famous for 3 prominent rocks called the 3 sisters). Unfortunately the weather was...ermm..foggy. Took quite some skills and patience for our 2 *local* guides to drive us there and back. My poor dad never got to see the awesome view :( - me and mom have been here during our previous trip. I'll post some pics when I've uploaded them soon.
Oops, just got bugged by my dad to get out of the house. I'll sign off now and babble more later :P

*Listening to Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance*

Can't believe all these are happening to me...

Trust me, I am not the sort of person who likes complaining BUT the past few days has been a total nightmare to me (and yes, the nightmare is taking place in KL, not any other place -_-")
First it started last Tuesday when a good friend of mine reversed my car onto a cleaning vehicle in a shopping complex.
Outcome: Big dent at the back of my dear old proton....sob sob. If that wasn't enough, I caught chills on that day itself and am still coughing up until today.

Next came my major wisdom tooth operation on Thursday. Was only supposed to remove the lower bottom right tooth but the doctor said
"Why not remove both? The additional pain is only about 10-15% and you have to pay another RM500 for the anaesthetics if you come to remove the left side next year"
Hence, extremely cheapskate yours truly said "Yeah, okay. Why not?" (Totally forgetting a warning from my previous dentist who told me that I would be knocked for about a week if I were to remove both at the same time)
Outcome: Round-face yi fei has temporarily become square-face due to the swelling on both lower right and left of the jaw. Only compensation is that at least my face is still symmetrical...hmpph... Besides that, I've been surviving on WAYYY too many buns and ice-cream. I really want real food...sob sob

To round off an already horrible week, I may have to do without contact lens from now on. Yup, I got a really BAD infection on Friday late night, which led me to seeing 3 doctors and actually spending Sunday night at an eye hospital. I have cornea ulcer due to a cut in my cornea (due to contact lens) and it's really taking time to recover. As I am typing this, I can only see through my left eye. Right eye is still on the road to recovery and I really pray that it heals...sigh. It really doesn't help that I am supposed to fly off to visit my brother tomorrow. I sure hope I don't get kicked out of Australia for spreading contagious eye disease. Gulp.....

Such a triple-whammy week. On the brighter side of things, I believe that things can't possibly get any worse (or if it does, I guess I'd be immune to it by now :P). Have to thank my mom and dad for being there for me all the time (putting up with all my childish whims, fancies, bad mood etc) and my friends who have shown so much concern for me the whole week. Really really appreciate it... :)

Okay, I'd better stop blogging now and try to rest my right eye. Really don't like to be big-eyed, small-eyed => o_O

*Listening to Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne* <=Not like I have a choice, do I??

I'm back in KL!! :D

Let's see, so much happened since I got back on Satuday:

Saturday
3pm Arrival at KLIA
6pm Sleep
8pm Mel's wedding
11pm Zeta bar
4am mamak
5am sleeeppp....

Sunday
12pm Wake up
1pm KLCC
7pm 1-Utama
3am sleeppp...

Monday
730am Wake up
930am pull wisdom tooth
1230pm Lunch (and agony over the pulling of wisdom tooth. sob sob...)

Extremely annoyed that my dial-up at home doesn't work AND i can't check work e-mail's at my dad's office. Grrr......

looks like I'll be spending lotsa time in starbucks.... :P

Off to lunch now! Damn, it'll be congee for the next 2 days...

*Listening to Pain by 3 Days Grace*

KL, here I come!

Counting down the hours now.....10 hours more until I get on the plane and escape the crappy weather here!!! AND I am not even packed yet.....(not like it's gona be a problem :P)

Will arrive on Saturday 2pm tentatively (Msian time, of course), Mel's wedding is at 830pm, then comes party time in KL!

Can't wait..... :D

*Listening to Last Train Home by Lostprophets* <= Hmmm, probably last flight home should be more appropriate hehe :P

Home is where the heart is...or is it?

I don't entirely agree though, strangely enough. In uni, I used to get terribly homesick about once a year (yeah, and this usually happens few weeks before Tripos :P ). BUT as soon as one enters the working world, one's priority in life totally changes, which isn't such a bad thing, really. I guess there's so much responsibility and things to do in your everyday life that you don't have the time to get *homesick* at all! To say my heart belongs to home right now isn't quite correct. Being young(or not so anymore...sigh... -_-"), adventurous(that's what I like to think) and ambitious(yes, I can hear you smirking now), I want to venture out into the world before returning home...or not. Who know's what the world holds for us anyway ;-) It will be a long time before I would need to decide on that *fingers crossed* so in the mean time, I should just enjoy working in the *exciting* places I get sent for work. :D

Hmmm..now i know why Asian parents are so afraid of letting their children study overseas => they never come back!

Speaking of home, I'll be flying back to KL in less than 36 hours! Gosh, how time flies....the last trip back was in March. Anyway, am absolutely looking forward to seeing my parents, friends, visiting bro in Sydney, loads of shopping+food+fun! :D In fact, I am quite sure I'll be partying all night this Saturday already! It will be a good 3 week break before coming back on NY's eve. Gives me time to shop on NY's Day! *evil laugh muahahaha*

Argh, I really should be asleep by now since it's already 2am. Oh well, I'll just blame it on my over-excitement of going home and the fact that I have a LONG LONG flight awaiting me on Friday...Last day of work tomorrow (erm..today I mean)...hope it won't be a long one ;-)

*Listening to Home Improvement by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus* <=Don't think my home need's it but anyway...

Back from hiatus!

I haven't updated my blog in eons due to my overly busy life in the past 2 months (Yeah, right. It should actually read: I haven't updated my blog because I am a one-minute hot and extremely lazy git). HOWEVER, I still have a little pride in my little and highly unimportant blog to write some things that I do feel like sharing (although they're pretty trivial to everyone else except me anyway :P).
I guess I could start by writing about what I have been up to for the past 2 months....
In September, I made my final trip to Turkey and did some travelling in between my 3 weeks there.
I had my first overnight train experience from Istanbul to Denizli, which was REALLY fun, to visit Pamukkale. Pamukkale (or Cotton Castle) was amazing. Really worth the journey there...

Next, we went to Ephesus. An awful lot of Roman Ruins left and managed to visit whatever that's left of one of the 7 Ancient Wonders of the World i.e. the Temple of Artemis.
Pic taken in Ephesus...
...and the Great Temple of Artemis!

Hahahaha I bet most people were expecting something really amazing but hey, you can't really expect much from a temple built in 550BC AND having survived a fire just about 200 years after it was built! (Not much of a sight, but at least I can say that I've been there :P)

Ironically, I managed to catch my 2nd ancient Wonder of the World shortly after the first. Yes, the Great Pyramids of Giza.

Definitely a country for me to re-visit in future (possibility in January - evil laugh hehe..). Cairo really reminds me of a mish-mash of Turkey + Abu Dhabi + India. I can identify many similarities between the food and culture of Egypt with Turkey and easily associate the sandiness of Cairo with Abu Dhabi. The noisiness+haphazardness of the city definitely rivals that of Delhi. Other than the fact that you have to go out with the mindset that everyone is out there to con/cheat/ take advantage of you because you are a foreigner, Egypt is a wonderful and exciting place to be!

In between work and travel, I also finally met up with my MIA housemate, whom I haven't seen for the past 5 months (Glad to have you back, Fred! :D), attending Goo Goo Dolls in concert for the 2nd time this year (It was better than the first, I have to say :D :D) AND receiving 2 wedding invitations from my friends (ARGHHHH WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?!?! -_-"). On the last point, I am, of course, extremely happy for the happy couples and am really looking forward to meeting them in Kuala Lumpur soon ;-). Congrats to Mel & Jays and Gareth & Elaine!

Johny Rzeznik in action at Shepherd's Bush...

Other exciting things that took place recently involved bugging people around me to attend MORE rock concerts, which led to my crazy concert-ticket buying stints last week that probably contributed to yi fei's recent declaration of bankruptcy. Sob sob :'( ...(Okay, I have to admit that this isn't entirely true but oh well....). Although the concerts won't be happening until April 2007, I am nonetheless still looking forward to them...

Incubus + Lostprophets = One crazily happy gal! :D

Besides that, I have also been obsessed over so many new bands recently that I sort of lost count *sheepish grin*. Anyway, my most recent obsession is 30 seconds to mars....of which I NEVER knew JARED LETO was the lead singer of! :O (Oh yeah, he's my fav *american rocker dude* at the moment :P)

Nearly5am now. Time for a snooze....listening to 30stm, of course ;-)....

*Listening to From Yesterday by 30 seconds to mars*

Its hard to survive without broadband :S ...

I've just moved to my new place and the Homechoice dudes are supposed to install our box on the 20th. Really counting down the days. Okay okay, it's not all THAT bad since I have a datacard but it sure does limit the amount of things you can surf online. The lack of broadband connection explains my sudden dissappearance from blog-world. Of course, I was stuck in Turkey for about 3 weeks in September AND I was too preoccupied with other things in life after I came back. Hahahaha... I'll post more Turkey pics when I get my connection at home. Visited Pamukkale and Ephesus before I left Turkey for good :P No prizes for guessing where my next destination is:

Sphinx + Pyramids + Camels = Go figure!

During my hiatus from blog-world, I finished reading the Dark Magician Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. It's fantastic! Haven't read such addictive fantasy books in a while (mostly due to my stubborn loyalty to Dragonlance books). Yups, have decided to diversify and am looking to buy some new books soon ;-)
I've also recently developed a sudden addiction for several songs but at the moment I have this severe obsession with the album below. Btw, they're American but sound kinda Brit. Weird, eh?

For anyone who likes their song AND piano, click to this link! It's so good....http://youtube.com/watch?v=mqU1fEMo8l0

*Listening to When You Were Young by The Killers