My nightmare is finally over. Phew. And I have my life back. It's been a long 3 months leading up to yesterday and yet, I think I will have to taste some bitterness when I find out my results in 2 months time. Anyway, at least it's done and dusted and life starts again!
It sure does feel as though I have this massive backlog of things that I want to do and can finally start doing again! I need to start playing my guitar (which I haven't touched for the past 2 weeks), read this pile of new fantasy books lying on my bookshelf that I've been refraining from touching, meeting up with too many friends that I've neglected for months, holiday plans, ..and the list goes on. The only part of my life that has been unchanged is my search for new music (ok it's quite limited to rock in any case) - it's probably one of the few things in my life that can actually keep me motivated and happy. Strange, but true - good music can leave a big smile plastered on my face - not something human beings can emulate most of the time! LOL!
In terms of personal motivations, I think a change has been long overdue and I will try my best at getting to those now that exams are behind me. To be a better person, to reach some personal goals and most importantly, to be a better daughter to my parents. Somehow being away from home all these years seems to have created a vault between us - it has probably made me too independent and easily irritable. I should probably try to put myself in their shoes to understand why they are how they are :o). I never quite understood this - but I think it's probably down to me being envious of my brother who has always been the apple in my parent's eyes (Note: don't get me wrong, I'm not even going to argue about why this is the case! LOL!) and always having to prove to them that I'm not a failure as how I think they perceive me to be. Obviously, this is just a one-sided assessment and I have absolutely no clue if it rings true or otherwise - but on the other hand, it might be safer not to know - as one would say, what you don't know, doesn't hurt. In ANY case, that should not deter me from trying - so yes, I will try from now on to be a better daughter. Enough said. :o)
Moving on from emo-stuffs, June will be one of those epic months in my life where I'll be overdosing on concerts starting with Rage Against the Machine tonight, followed by 2 Bon Jovi concerts next week, then Stone Temple Pilots and rounding off with Pearl Jam at the end of June! Awesome, isn't it?
*Listening to Killing in the Name by RATM*
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