Even in my gloom...

..I've managed to discover a new band that I really like! The band is called Hail the Villain, a fairly new Canadian heavy metal band (formed in '03) - their songs are just my cup of tea: Punchy, strong rifts, awesome tunes. I'm not done listening through their new (also first!) album but so far (4 tracks down), it's been definitely promising.... :D

Good solution to mend my disappointment - I'm still amazed about how upset I am still though...

*Listening to Take Back the Fear by Hail the Villain*

It still hurts..

...even when you've predicted the outcome. 1-0. Oh well. The better side definitely won (by the sounds of it) - but I will be looking forward to watching 2 stress-free matches this Saturday and Sunday. If there's any consolation, phantom of the opera was excellent - definitely one of the best musicals I've ever seen :o).

Special thanks to my lovely friends who know how upset I would have been today...

Now to get over and move on....bring on Spain!

*Listening to Knock You Down by Keri Hilson*

Is it even possible...

...to feel nervous when you're not even going to experience the 90 minute agony that might end the road for your favourite team? Probably so. Sigh again - I sure hope that damn octopus got it wrong....

*Listening to Everything and Nothing by The Classic Crime*

Ain't nothing but heartache...

It's surprising how I'm gonna be missing the most highly anticipated match of WC2010. Yeah, when Germany play Spain tonight, I'll be watching Phantom of the Opera (albeit checking the scores every minute!). Maybe it's meant to be? Or perhaps it's to stop me from the heartache of watching the annihilation of Germany, whom I've been supporting so far..... Sigh. I know I should have more faith in them - and they've already exceeded everyone's expectations so far. But me being me, hates getting my hopes up for fear of falling flat on my face. It hurts. Real bad. Anyway, I'll be supporting them even if I won't be watching it live - and as I always believe, come what may, the best team always wins, right?

*Listening to So Alive by Ryan Adams*

I love Germany!

Can't believe they pulled this off. I was rooting for them.....in hope that they can spring a surprise on the favourites Argentina - little did I expect them to be able to thump the mighties 4-0! :D I'm so happy right now and can't quite describe how ecstatic I am feeling at the moment. I really should have really had more faith in them... =) =)

*Listening to Keep the Faith by Bon Jovi*

Kudos to Oranje!

Awesome match where Oranje deserved to win! Too bad for Brazil - all seemed to be going well until they fell apart in the 2nd half. Such is life I reckon.

Looking forward to the football tomorrow albeit cringing at thought of Germany getting whipped by Argentina =( =( =(

*Listening to Closer to the Edge by 30stm*

Oranje or Green?

In any case it will be a salivating showdown between the Oranjes and Brazilians. Out of loyalty, I'm throwing my support for Brazil (and Kaka! :D). However, I won't be too upset if the Dutch manage to spring a surprise on the favourites. With Robben back from injury, the Dutch offence looks even stronger now - as was proven when he subbed in the 2nd round match against Slovakia the other day. Brazil will always remain everyone's favourite team - has been lots of complaints about how they've sacrificed flair for structure/technique but I actually prefer the team now compared to years ago. Yes, they have changed their style of playing - but I do admire and appreciate how much their defence has improved. If it were any other Brazilian team, I would always get a heart attack when the opposition came near the Brazilian goal - but not anymore!

Awaiting the match to start in 1.5hours. In the mean time I'll be dreaming of Mesut Özil coming to Man United! =)

*Listening to Lights by Interpol*

Day 2 of withdrawal...

...and still suffering! Sigh.

*Listening to Another Way to Die by Disturbed*

Football withdrawal...

I can't believe that it's only just been a day without any football action on the pitch (2 day break before the quarterfinals ensue) and I am already experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I'm literally itching to watch a match...but looks like I can't do anything but to wait 'til Friday. Oh well.

*Listening to Mission Statement by Stone Sour*

Daughter...

Alone...listless...breakfast table in an otherwise empty room
Young girl...violins...center of her own attention
The mother reads aloud child tries to understand it
Tries to make her proud

The shades go down it's in her head
Painted room...can't deny there's something wrong...

Don't call me daughter not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

She holds the hand that holds her down
She will...rise above

Don't call me daughter, not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to be
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

The shades go down
The shades go, go, go...

P/S: I just can't wait to watch Pearl Jam tonight!

PP/SS: Don't worry I'm not depressed or anything - it's just a brilliant song - prob my fav from the band =)

Football fever!

The football fever has indeed set in - the overall performance has been mostly unexpected but genuinely entertaining! Some traditionally strong teams were rattled in the group stages (Spain, Germany), losing to the underdogs - some even failing to get through (read: France). Now as we're nearing the end of the group stages, the 2 teams that I support (admittedly one grudgingly - Spain - and the other willingly - Portugal) are still far from safe. All will be decided on Friday so maybe I'll learn the positive or negative outcome while watching Pearl Jam in Hyde Park! I obviously have little faith in the England team and really detest how their supporters seem to have unrealistic views on the abilities of their players (I mean, have they seen how Kaka or Messi plays??). Don't get me wrong, most of these players play for top-flight clubs in the premier league - but somehow the skills displayed don't show any sense of fluidity or even style. Perhaps I shouldn't expect every team to play like Brazil or Portugal - the beautiful passes, the triangle formation...even Spain (in my view) can't compare!

Oh well, enough ranting. I'm glad Germany scrapped through tonight - don't ask me why I'm supporting them in the first place! Hopefully this world cup will introduce a new winner into the hall of fame (only 6 previously: Argentina, Brazil, England, Germany, Italy, Uruguay).

*Listening to End of me by Apocalyptica feat. Gavin Rossdale*

It's not healthy...

..to watch the same band twice in a week. But I HAVE to accentuate that Bon Jovi, without a doubt, is one of the BEST (i.e, my favourite) bands ever! OK, bar the fact that their past 4 albums have been utter rubbish (note: this means anything after These Days except for It's My Life), the gems that they play during their gigs are a joy to listen to. My only regret is not being to watch them perform during their prime - I guess this is something I can't help :o( Anyway I've been obsessing over their old songs for the past few days and I think this will go on for days....until my next gig comes along! (next week: Stone Temple Pilots).

Bon Jovi forever! =D

*Listening to Blood on Blood by Bon Jovi*

Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out!

My nightmare is finally over. Phew. And I have my life back. It's been a long 3 months leading up to yesterday and yet, I think I will have to taste some bitterness when I find out my results in 2 months time. Anyway, at least it's done and dusted and life starts again!

It sure does feel as though I have this massive backlog of things that I want to do and can finally start doing again! I need to start playing my guitar (which I haven't touched for the past 2 weeks), read this pile of new fantasy books lying on my bookshelf that I've been refraining from touching, meeting up with too many friends that I've neglected for months, holiday plans, ..and the list goes on. The only part of my life that has been unchanged is my search for new music (ok it's quite limited to rock in any case) - it's probably one of the few things in my life that can actually keep me motivated and happy. Strange, but true - good music can leave a big smile plastered on my face - not something human beings can emulate most of the time! LOL!

In terms of personal motivations, I think a change has been long overdue and I will try my best at getting to those now that exams are behind me. To be a better person, to reach some personal goals and most importantly, to be a better daughter to my parents. Somehow being away from home all these years seems to have created a vault between us - it has probably made me too independent and easily irritable. I should probably try to put myself in their shoes to understand why they are how they are :o). I never quite understood this - but I think it's probably down to me being envious of my brother who has always been the apple in my parent's eyes (Note: don't get me wrong, I'm not even going to argue about why this is the case! LOL!) and always having to prove to them that I'm not a failure as how I think they perceive me to be. Obviously, this is just a one-sided assessment and I have absolutely no clue if it rings true or otherwise - but on the other hand, it might be safer not to know - as one would say, what you don't know, doesn't hurt. In ANY case, that should not deter me from trying - so yes, I will try from now on to be a better daughter. Enough said. :o)

Moving on from emo-stuffs, June will be one of those epic months in my life where I'll be overdosing on concerts starting with Rage Against the Machine tonight, followed by 2 Bon Jovi concerts next week, then Stone Temple Pilots and rounding off with Pearl Jam at the end of June! Awesome, isn't it?

*Listening to Killing in the Name by RATM*

So much for the afterglow...

So it's the end of my hols and it's been really awesome (with the exception of a minor glitch at the end) - but in any case I had a wonderful time exploring Angkor Wat with my buddy from high school - and later had a really fun time playing/partying in Hong Kong. I also managed to catch up with quite a few friends, family and brother/sis in law as well! It feels a bit surreal trying to recall what I've done in the past 2.5 weeks - too much fun, too little time sums it all pretty much. In any case I think I'm most at fault for not spending enough time with my family this time around...pretty selfish of me, but I've promised myself to be better next time =)

Life shouldn't be full of regrets, should it? I did something really unpredictable (by my standards!) last night. I don't regret it and yet I'm not sure what really urged me as well. In the past few years I've written of my fear of taking risks and how terrified I am of failure. Yes I failed but as wrenching/pathetic as I was, I can now look forward to a new start...not easy, but I'm pretty sure it's not undoable. Just takes a bit of courage, time and support (of friends that I'm eternally grateful to have - you know who you are!).

Alrighto it's nearly time for me to bugger off to the airport so I should hope this post will last for the many months to come! =)

*Listening to Walk On by U2*

the art of being lazy...

...that sounds like me - i haven't blogged for more than a year! to be honest, not much has changed (for me personally) but like everyone else, i've had my share of ups and downs. since i usually update my FB status, my friends DO know what i'm up to =) strangely whenever i blog, it's because there's something nagging me - so there is something right now but hey ho, not for anyone's ears except mine! :P anyway, since it's so close to xmas hols, i don't really have that much things to worry about for the time being...except LDN -> KL-> cambodia -> KL -> HK -> KL -> LDN - yippee!

2009 was a year filled with more concerts than ever, excellent travel adventures (must go back to south america!) plus lots of fun nights hanging out with friends....so for my new year resolution for 2010, i vow to...(in no particular order)

1) bake a cake

2) learn to play the guitar properly - yes, i need to make it a regimented routine otherwise i'd never get around playing the diary of jane in my lifetime!

3) more travelling! (south america again for sure!)

4) go for my concerts! (duh!) and to watch our lady peace/breaking benjamin/three days grace in concert even if it requires me to fly to US!

5) marry jared leto (ok, maybe not)

sounds ambitious? yeah, i think so too - it'd be great to just do all those things above. and i made a separate promise to myself to be more honest, listen to others and talk less.... =)

doubt i'll write in the next year or so (knowing my personality as highlighted in the title of my entry today) so hopefully there'll be something worth writing about in 2011!

*Listening to Because I want you by Placebo*

some things never change?

I think it was more than a year ago (maybe two?) when I was in this state of emotion => mixed, confusion, excitement... and then reality bit. Yup, before I knew it, it was all over - just one moment and now I'm back to square one. This feeling is indeed so-very familiar to me and I'm sure many people have gone through this as well. I guess I have to learn to wish not and want not. Although I think I've conditioned myself well enough to expect nothing so that I won't be left feeling empty - reality still hits you right where it hurts and at the end, I'm left with this unexplainably challenging situation..... Argh, but such is life - as one always says - so I guess all I can do is cheer up and look forward to the next best thing that's happening in my life? Now, that's a tough call - I think I'm better off counting down the days to Nickelback's concert.....one more week :D

*Listening to The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows by Brand New*

random thoughts....

Sometimes I wish I were more risk-adverse - however, I ultimately know that I am the type of person who would never take uncalculated risks in life. Is that a good or a bad trait? There's always this part of my brain that unconsciously tells me to make the most practical and sensible decision i.e. never make a decision where P(success)<50%. I guess this is my way of avoiding facing a potentially bad outcome. It's actually pretty sad if you think about it....I guess I'd never truly find out since I wouldn't take that leap of faith, would I? On the other hand, because I've already calculated that the P(success) is pretty much lower than 50%, then it's really not worth going through the potential pain/sadness/dissappointment/embarasssment/etc from one *risky* decision, right? I guess I'll never find out....

OK I think I'm growing way too old and senile now rambling about nothingness :o)

*Listening to The '59 Sound by Gaslight Anthem*

the end is the beginning is the end?

My two week break in KL is finally coming to an end - however, since I'll be back in about 2 months time, I'm not quite feeling the *missing* pangs this time around. I do sometimes wonder whether I'm missing out on things that are happening back home...on the other hand, perhaps I'm not quite ready to give up on my rock concerts just yet :P (not forgetting the limitless freedom living in London! ;o))
I do realise that things have changed in Malaysia over the past few years - with the slowdown of the global economy, the price of living necessities become incessantly more expensive. I guess my friends working here are quite lucky to be amongst the proportion of working adults that earn very decent wages and thus are not quite as affected by the increasing prices of goods in Malaysia. It is also quite interesting to observe how ones priority in life shifts with age - it used to be studies and getting decent grades - now it's work work work. I wonder what the next stage of life would be?
Ok time to go get my final dose of char siu from Overseas restaurant... :o)

*Listening to Build God, then we'll talk by Panic at the Disco*

Panic mania....

Yesterday's concert was totally AWESOME!!!! Panic at the disco were amazing on stage: great singing & showmanship and the lead singer, Brendon Urie, is toooooo damn cuteeeeeeee ^_^ (damn I sound like a paedophile - yes, he is only 21 - sighhhh....). Unfortunately, there really wasn't much of a crowd as the turn out was REALLY poor....not befitting for such a great band :o(. On the up side, less people meant more space to jump about and less squashing involved - which is GREAT!

OK I'll stop drooling now.....I'll write more soon....I hope ;o)

*Listening to Nine in the afternoon by DOH?!?!*

One year later.....

Has it been a year since I last wrote anything on this page? I guess it must have been. Gosh - time sure does fly - especially when you're busy either working, sleeping or going for rock concerts (which has been my main passion in the past year or so :o) )
Since I'm not trying to summarise the past year, I'll just briefly update my current state of mind. It's GREAT to be FREE from any form of burden or responsibility....at least for a while. Although waiting for my passport is getting on my nerves. Grrrrrr....... on the bright side, London has been amazingly nice and sunny :D ...which could be a good or bad thing....for me anyway. The equations below usually apply:

Good weather = Going out = Shopping = Spending lots of $$$
while BAD weather = Stay at home and sleep

Hmm it's already 715pm and none of my housemates are back yet! O_O Weird. Looks like it's going to be a quiet night for me. I can't wait for the Dark Knight to be shown in the cinema! It really annoys me how movies get shown sooo much later in UK than everywhere else in the world - don't they realise that this encourages more piracy? But then again, everything in UK is usually slow and behind time. I think I've lived here long enough to accept this as a fact of life....oh well.

Time to plan on what to do tomorrow...

*Listening to Itsumo by Feeder*